The Tortuous Tale of the Blanket

Most stories begins with once upon a time or a long long time ago, but this story it a tale from the not so distant past (as in a few days ago).

I was in the hospital doing a round with the doctor and we came to this little old indian lady. A difficult task came about for the doctor as she attempted to talk to this elderly indian lady, that spoke no english only gujrati. Being the helpful student I am, i decided to help and translate. we finished seeing the lady went about, I didn't think i would have any further contact with her.

A few hours later, whilst going through another patient's notes, I look through the window and see this lady and the cleaners having a difficult exchange. The cleaner asks an indian nurse to help but the confusion continues. Alas, they approach the only person on the ward who was able to speak gujrati, Me. The cleaner asks me to explain to the lady that she shouldn't walk around as the flor is wet, I obliged. I informed the elderly lady and tried to calm her down. She said she was cold and tired and that she didn't know what was going on. I helped her and said she should get into bed for a while. Now given that she was confused it made the whole exchange difficult, combined that with my broken gujrati compared to her pure gujrati, of course there was going to be some form of misunderstanding.

Now everything was going ok until...

" A Lamp you say?"

  
I was sitting eating lunch and started to look through the photos on my phone and came across an interesting one.
  
I then thought to my self, "could I be a lamp?". I decided that perhaps I could make a good floor standing lamp. I came up with the following reasoning;
1) I am tall
2) I have a bright mind
3) I can switch
4) I consume A LOT of energy
5) Theoretically I am electric (physiological electrical impulses involved in the nervous system)
 
Then I started thinking about the reasons I couldn't;
1) I am not made of metal (yet)
2) I don't have a bulb
3) I can't be plugged into the mains

The Pizza of Anchovies

Now you may all have heard of our recent trip to Italy. Twas the 3 bafoons (my brothers and cousin) and I (the almighty sister) walking through the streets of Rome.

After a few hours of stalking our great friend the mime, our stomachs growled of hunger. Dinner was needed and my brothers recommended a fine traditional Italian restaurant. For some unknown reason my elder brother and cousin decided to be daring and ordered a pizza with anchovy toppings. Now as our food came everything looked amazing, we all dug in. One bite into the pizza the cousin cries Yuck! Its pretty obvious it didn't taste good. But my brother being him, ate the rest anyway, thats just what he does.

The Brother, The Chicken Sandwich and Me

One friday, following juma, myself, my brother and father went on a quest for lunch. On the quest the larger one (father) decided that we should also procure the service of a vehicular cleaner for our automobile. In knowledge of this we went to an area where both lunch and car washes were available nearby.   
   
Dad dropped the two of us off at the sandwich establishment whilst he went to get the car washed. The two of us walked in and looked at the menu. Immediately I made my decision, bbq chicken panini. My brother after a while decided on the chicken toastie. As my sandwich was being made he was told that he needed to decide on which chicken. He had a choice of 5 different chickens (and no not 5 actual chickens going cluck cluck, 5 different flavours) after what seemed like hours of deliberating he decided on "the red one". "Tandoori Chicken?" asked the sandwich man "yep." he replied. 
   
As our sandwiches were being made, I posed the question regarding beverages. My brother responded by saying he did not want a drink as there was no point spending the £0.60 on a can. Feeling ashamed of my frivolous spending ways I too agreed with his view. 
   

The Curious Case of the Big Nose

So I was working for pops. Just helping at the office. And me being me had to go to the bathroom. So I went. As I was leaving I opened the door an "FATAK!!!" I opened it right into my nose.

I messaged dad the incident and he rushes out and say "who did it?" I said "me" and he starts laughing uncontrollably.

The End

Classic: The Tale of the Cupcake

I bought a fancy cupcake, ok well by bought I mean I got for free

Let the story commence....

Well, I was in waitrose doing some much needed grocery shopping and saw this cupcake from afar. It was love at first sight, I knew I must have itso i went to the counter and said "I would like the lime lollipop cupcake". It was reduced to 40p. The woman at the counter wrapped it up. put it in a box (a fancy box).
I continued with my shopping, then went to the till ,paid for my groceries and thought it was quite expensive.
looked at my reciept, the cupcake cost £40at which point I nearly had a heart attack. So went to customer services, they refunded my money and gave it for free now me and my cupcake are living happily ever after (till iftarr when it will be devoured)

The cupcake was devoured and was delicious

Behold the start of story telling

For a long time a select few have enjoyed the tales of a Ladak. i now wish to share these anecdotes for a select more to enjoy.

New stories will appear and classic stories will also make appearances

Enjoy