The world would pretty weird if we were scholars...

This story is very much different to the tales that have been told in the past, however, due to its incredibly hilarious nature i feel as though it is my duty to share this with you all.

Picture this, Myself and Darth Sister sitting in the living room, debating the ridiculous questions that had been posted on that forum, I mentioned one question, "can you do wudhu with sparkling water?" This led to a debate of minute proportion, where by we agreed to disagree.

whilst later looking through my facebook account (Yes us story tellers are on Facebook), Darth Sister posted the following,

"Can you do wudhu with Coke? I mean...its water based"

I subsequently replied with quick wit, "But its Zionist...so HARAAM!!!"

Darth Sister then posted' "oh ok...so tropicana will be ok then"

I followed with, "I think id rather do tayamum, you get to thapaat the ground and arms wouldnt get sticky

CLASSIC: The Abominable Fool

As was evident from the news and general chatter, there was a great deal of snow that had fallen within the UK during the christmas holidays. I had just finished for the semester and was planning on heading home for a well deserved christmas break. So the plan rest and relaxation before leaving saturday night for home.

So I woke up on the fateful Saturday only to find that the WHOLE place was covered in snow. Now my immediate emotions were of anger, glee and excitement. Anger as my plans were delayed. Glee, as it was now snowy and excitement to play in the snow.

So to assess the extent of the snow I wanted to check out how bad the roads were (yes the sensible me decided that was the best thing to do first). So I the door to the balcony and stepped out. Bear in mind that i had just gotten out of bed, now Imagine the feeling of ice cold snow on your bare feet. YES!! I proceeded to shout like a Yeti and hop around trying to warm my feet up again. And to make matters worse, I forgot to check the roads

Moral of the story, ALWAYS WEAR SHOES WHEN FACED WITH SNOW

When Interest equalled Architecture

So I was feeling in a semi-religious mood, having come back from the mosque and also reading an interesting article on the BBC website regarding Gay Nikah, but that is besides the point. So i went onto this forum that i am registered to. Sometimes, i like to look at the absolute ridiculous questions people ask, an example being "Is it Haraam to Overtake cars?"

So as i was going through this i came across a question, "Is Riba Haraam?"Now I was a tad perplexed, I had no idea what "Riba" was. So as Darth Sister was here i decided to ask her. "What does Riba mean?" she paused, looked at me as though I was dunce and said "Firstly it 'Ree-baa' so before you ask anyone else get that right ok? and it stands for Royal Institute of British Architects."

I looked blankly at her and replied, "What are you talking about, how is that related to Islam?"

I laughed at her

Btw Riba is the Islamic term for Interest

The Tortuous Tale of the Blanket

Most stories begins with once upon a time or a long long time ago, but this story it a tale from the not so distant past (as in a few days ago).

I was in the hospital doing a round with the doctor and we came to this little old indian lady. A difficult task came about for the doctor as she attempted to talk to this elderly indian lady, that spoke no english only gujrati. Being the helpful student I am, i decided to help and translate. we finished seeing the lady went about, I didn't think i would have any further contact with her.

A few hours later, whilst going through another patient's notes, I look through the window and see this lady and the cleaners having a difficult exchange. The cleaner asks an indian nurse to help but the confusion continues. Alas, they approach the only person on the ward who was able to speak gujrati, Me. The cleaner asks me to explain to the lady that she shouldn't walk around as the flor is wet, I obliged. I informed the elderly lady and tried to calm her down. She said she was cold and tired and that she didn't know what was going on. I helped her and said she should get into bed for a while. Now given that she was confused it made the whole exchange difficult, combined that with my broken gujrati compared to her pure gujrati, of course there was going to be some form of misunderstanding.

Now everything was going ok until...

" A Lamp you say?"

  
I was sitting eating lunch and started to look through the photos on my phone and came across an interesting one.
  
I then thought to my self, "could I be a lamp?". I decided that perhaps I could make a good floor standing lamp. I came up with the following reasoning;
1) I am tall
2) I have a bright mind
3) I can switch
4) I consume A LOT of energy
5) Theoretically I am electric (physiological electrical impulses involved in the nervous system)
 
Then I started thinking about the reasons I couldn't;
1) I am not made of metal (yet)
2) I don't have a bulb
3) I can't be plugged into the mains

The Pizza of Anchovies

Now you may all have heard of our recent trip to Italy. Twas the 3 bafoons (my brothers and cousin) and I (the almighty sister) walking through the streets of Rome.

After a few hours of stalking our great friend the mime, our stomachs growled of hunger. Dinner was needed and my brothers recommended a fine traditional Italian restaurant. For some unknown reason my elder brother and cousin decided to be daring and ordered a pizza with anchovy toppings. Now as our food came everything looked amazing, we all dug in. One bite into the pizza the cousin cries Yuck! Its pretty obvious it didn't taste good. But my brother being him, ate the rest anyway, thats just what he does.

The Brother, The Chicken Sandwich and Me

One friday, following juma, myself, my brother and father went on a quest for lunch. On the quest the larger one (father) decided that we should also procure the service of a vehicular cleaner for our automobile. In knowledge of this we went to an area where both lunch and car washes were available nearby.   
   
Dad dropped the two of us off at the sandwich establishment whilst he went to get the car washed. The two of us walked in and looked at the menu. Immediately I made my decision, bbq chicken panini. My brother after a while decided on the chicken toastie. As my sandwich was being made he was told that he needed to decide on which chicken. He had a choice of 5 different chickens (and no not 5 actual chickens going cluck cluck, 5 different flavours) after what seemed like hours of deliberating he decided on "the red one". "Tandoori Chicken?" asked the sandwich man "yep." he replied. 
   
As our sandwiches were being made, I posed the question regarding beverages. My brother responded by saying he did not want a drink as there was no point spending the £0.60 on a can. Feeling ashamed of my frivolous spending ways I too agreed with his view.